A jealous ex-girlfriend ripped off a guy’s left testicle and tried to eat it, BBC World reports. She failed to swallow it and the poor guy got his testicle back. But all the kings doctors and all the kings men couldn’t put Testi together again. OK, I shouldn’t be laughing about another guy’s testicle pain. Sorry, bro. (But it IS a painfully fun story - read the details below)
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I was inspired by My Favorite Shit Euphemism by Joel at Dethroner. It gave me a flashback to some movie where one of the characters whips out a stream of masturbation euphemisms. My favorite was, and still is: Burp the worm. I know it’s stupid, but it makes me smile. I guess I’m simple. By the way, Joel’s favorite shit euphemism is “I just whipped up a mess of gut chutney.”

So Hummer has launched their phone, the HT1. It certainly looks cool, with the camo design and Hummer logo. But I can’t help thinking that this can’t be the durable, rugged, strong phone we want it to be. Hummer has spent too much time selling cheesy tin cans with their logo on it. Just check out which model is shown on the phone display in the press photo (large below). Hint: it’s NOT the H1. My advice? Lose the French junk and give me a phone that you can throw off a cliff and let be run over by a truck, and that still functions when I need to report back to my wife HQ.
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An Australian guy wanted to make his wedding proposal special. So he borrowed a 20m boat from a friend and took his girlfriend on a romantic cruise. To make the story short; the boat caught fire and sank. And so did the engagement ring. I hope they’re not superstitious.
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Phone:
- This is Alison. I don’t know if you remember me.

Restaurant:
- I have something I really need to tell you. I’m pregnant.
- With a baby?
- Yes.
- Then what are you hitting on me for?

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