Much like wild horses are tamed to be useful to humans, men are broken in to suit the needs of women. It’s a fact. They can’t have us running around like testosterone filled teenagers. That wouldn’t be practical at all. But do you know just how you’re broken in? Didn’t think so. But Angry in LA knows, and I’ve stolen the secret to reveal it to you.

The systematic domestification of the human male

Year One
After 12 months of home cooked dinners, and seductive attire the human male can be convinced to cut ties with former female handlers. Little black books, old prom pictures and love letters will be destroyed.

Year Three
After a few years of consistent verbal commands the human male will be conditioned to �put the toilet seat down�

Year Five
At this point the human males excessive sex drive should be decreased to match that of his female handler. A high dosage of science fiction and sports television programs will aid him in this difficult transition period.

Year Seven
The human male is ambitious and inquisitive by nature. He enjoys taking risks and roams his territory often.The introduction of miniature replicas of himself (aka children) will assist in keeping him closer to base camp.

Year Ten
To assist in you in repelling other female handlers please introduce the traditional mode of transportation called the Van. If your human male is attractive and somewhat successful be sure the Van is equipped with baby car seats as they may act as an additional repellent to aggressive female handlers.

Photo: bianditz by Mikelo