Male restrooms are simple to use. It’s not like ladies rooms, where the women take the time for gossip exchange, chattering, dress reviews and make-up check. You do your business, wash and leave. Easy. But you’ve got to know the rules, or the conseqenses could be fatal. Here’s the educational video Male Restroom Etiquette, followed by the Five Rules of the Mens Room and the Nine Step Walkthru on How to Use the Urinal. Good luck.

Mens room rules:
Rule #1: If all urinials are empty, take the urinal on either edge. This allows others to comply with the following rules most effectively.
Rule #2: If one urinal is taken, take the urinal on the other edge. This minimizes the chance of any contact whatsoever with the person you’re sharing the bathroom with.
Rule #3: If two urinals are taken, take the urinal in the middle. Ideally this would secure at least one empty urinal between each male.
Rule #4: If there’s no idle urinal with empty spots on either side, wait. Exeption: Mens rooms at places that serve alcohol.
Rule #5: Look straight ahead or down. When you turn to leave, keep your eyes at head level until you’re clear of the urinals.

How to use the urinal:
1. Approach the urinal.
2. Unzip one’s pants, and extract the tool of fluid ejection.
3. Aim the tip of fluid ejection instrument towards the bottom of urinal. (This helps to avoid splash-back.)
4. Begin ejection of fluid, being sure not to spill fluid beyond the bounds of the urinal.
5. When fluid flow ceases initiate shut down process by shaking instrument to ensure all fluid has been ejected.
6. Return instrument to pants.
7. Zip pants making sure to avoid fluid ejection instrument.
8. Flush urinal.
9. Approach sink and wash hands.

Links:
The original video Male Restroom Etiquette at Zarathustra Studios
The original article “Male Restroom Etiquette” at Everything2.com
The original article “How to use a urinal” at Everything2.com