Scotsman admits that he puts more time and effort into relationships with colleagues than with his woman. “I thought my marriage was solid and spent all my time trying to be successful at work,” the Scot sobs.

Ok, I made that up. The quote, that is, not the fact. A new survey of one thousand workers in Scotland show that half of them put more effort into bonding with colleagues than romancing their partners. Big surprise!

Of course we do. It’s about the hunt. When we reach the goal, we look for new goals to pursuit. In business there’s an endless row of achievements to be made, people to connect with and goals to be reached. In a relationship it’s not that obvious. For both men and women the marriage itself is the goal. The personal relationship is a part of your life, like your parents and your clothes. It’s not a place where you pursue personal goals and achievements.

To make matters worse, more than a third of Scots confessed to carrying out more caring tasks for workmates, such as going for teas, coffees and snacks and helping them with errands in their lunch hours than they do for loved ones at home.

Dr Roger Henderson, the report’s author, says that we should get our priorities right, considering that an average employment only lasts about four years.

But that’s just going wrong in a different direction. You career is more than your current job, even if you’re not a career hunter. You have to focus on your job to have a job next year.

Instead, how about treating your relationship as your second job? You know, the one you go to after your day job. It’s the low paying second job that you applied for just because you love being there. A former colleague of mine was a bartender at night. Not because he needed the money, but because he loved being there. He was single, of course. He still is. But that’s not the point.

Let’s get back to imagining your marriage as the fun second job; What would it take to make it stay fun? Is it enough to do the same things every day? Of course not!

If you want to be happy in your relationship, you have to:

1. spend time with, and be curious of, your partner
2. make plans and big goals that you can work towards
3. have fun with teasing and surprises

Then it’s possible to have a woman AND a career.