Scot McKay and podcast co-host Emily are getting married in December (yes, they even podcasted the engagement) and are busy planning their wedding. Now, they’ve come to a ‘profound’ conclusion; Real men don’t plan weddings. Well, duh! This ‘knowledge’ is both OLD and WRONG.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that real men don’t get married. Quite the contrary. Most good men seek to find genuine love with one great woman sooner than later, and look forward to coming home to her every night. And that’s a great thing.

I’m not getting you wrong, Scot. I understand perfectly. You say that you, like most guys, want to live with a woman but you don’t care about planning the wedding. Well, let me ask you two simple questions: Have you thought about who of your friends should attend? And have you thought about what you could do to make this day memorable for your woman? Well, there you go; you’re wedding planning.

Wedding ceremonies and receptions are all about the bride. I mean, the guy involved doesn’t even have a real title–he’s just there to “groom” the bride! Therefore, everything involved with planning such things is utterly feminine.

Stop! This is where you REAL point is. You don’t want to take part in the planning because the wedding is all about the bride. It’s feminine. I don’t blame you. We all feel this way. So the REAL issue is that guys accept that the wedding is all about the bride and leave it all to her.

Oh sure. We go along when absolutely necessary to “show support” and to make sure “we approve”. But heaven help us if we didn’t “approve” of something along the way. It would mean being dragged to more prospective “settings” festooned with Gazebos and year-round Christmas lights. So the women…Emily included…typically get the rubber stamp from the “Groom”.

But WHY? The fact that most guys do it this way doesn’t make it manly. I would never call it manliness to sit down and let yourself be run over. You’re throwing the most expensive party of your lifetime and you want to leave it all to her? It’s your choice but don’t call it manliness.

Guys like me would have been happy just to go to the JP and get on with it, maybe draining a few “cold ones” afterwards. Even when wrapped up in a more “formal” wedding, we all don’t want or need any elaborate consideration. Just rent me the same tux the other guys are wearing. No biggee.

Now you’re just being silly. Get your act together and make this a party to remember, for her AND you. Be a man about it. Real Men know that the wedding is more important to their women, and PLAN ACCORDINGLY. Find out what’s important to you and plan it to be a part of your big day.

Resources:
Real Men Dont Plan Weddings by Scot McKay
X & Y Communications - Dating and Relationship Coaching for the 21st Century

Photo: dhbphotography